Wading into the world of relationship advice is something usually reserved for a single person. Yet here I am, compromising every day, pretending to enjoy Real Housewives, and still doubling down… If you think that someone is marriage material before the first date, you are cooked.
How could you possibly know? Someone can certainly be attractive to you… they could have a brilliant smile, a GSOH, not smoke (or smoke, depending on your preference). They could be from a wealthy family (for the gold diggers out there), they could have an interesting and well paying job…
They could be all these things and still be an absolute asshole!
The professional equivalent of this must be someone who believes they have seen their “dream job” before attending a first interview. You are cooked.
For me, it’s seriously unnerving. I get it- the company could be sexy, they could have great perks, an office close to your house, pay well and have weekly squash tourneys. They could have all these things, and still be a terrible fit for you.
One difference between the first job interview and the first date is that it’s ok to ask very direct questions in the job interview… that might be considered a bit intense on a first date.
Here are 3 I recommend asking in the job interview to figure out if the role is the one for you. <3
1. Can you tell me about your work and team management habits?
This question really opens up the floor so that you can find out a bit more about how your boss behaves at work. Do they send texts at 11pm at night? Are they a micromanager? Are they organized? Are they self aware? Do they have a style and approach that you gel with? Having a boss that supports, encourages, challenges and develops you is an enormous factor in whether or not you find work rewarding and fulfilling.
2. What would a fantastic first 6 months in this job look like from your perspective?
This is a great question to understand expectations, help you set some goals and gauge how well your potential boss has planned for your role. This question should (if you do love and get the job) provide you with a roadmap for your time as a newbie in the business. It shows you’re not thinking about just getting the gig- you’re also planning on doing a fantastic job.
3. Do you have any hesitations about me or my experience for this role?
Some hiring managers don’t like this question- but I love it. The way I would phrase it is this… Firstly, if you are interested in the job, lead with that. The job goes to someone who wants it! “I’ve really enjoyed meeting you today Mr/Miss/Ms Prospective Boss. I am very interested in the role due to X,Y and Z- and I feel I can add real value to your team! From your perspective, do you have any hesitations bout me or my experience for this role?”
The beauty of this question is that it draws out any negatives that may have come up and gives you the right of reply before leaving the interview. They might have not understood an earlier answer of yours properly- and now you have the chance to set the record straight. You also get to see how comfortable your boss is giving feedback firsthand.
SO! Ask these questions and it’ll go a long way towards letting you know if the job is the one for you.
And if you’re going on a date and you’re not afraid of coming across as the super intense type, I’d go with
1. Tell me about your parents’ relationship
2. Have you analyzed any patterns of behaviour from previous relationships of yours?
3. What are your greatest insecurities and why do you think that’s the case?
I will stick to recruitment.